When I was just 13 years old, I became involved with a boy who lived an hour away from me. We both knew that living so far away from each other at such a young age was not going to be easy, but we gave it a shot anyways. We dated on and off for three and a half years. It was the worst and best three and a half years of my life. We had some great times and we had some not so great times. He became very controlling, didn’t let me do anything besides hangout with him, didn’t let me have any friends, said I could only work during the week so that him and I could spend every single weekend together. At 13, you think this is love. You’re so happy because you’ve found someone who cares for you and only you, wants to spend every waking minute together, and makes you feel like the only girl in the world. The first year was great, but after that, he began to talk to other women. I let it go because I trusted him, but found out later that I shouldn’t have. He cheated on me many times, but I forgave him because he was all I had now. I had lost all of my friends, my family had began to wonder about me, and I was diagnosed with depression at age 15. I always felt so alone when he had left me in the dark. He would ignore me for days on end if I did something as small as fall asleep without saying goodnight. He would come to my house and be so mean all weekend, and do nothing besides make me sad. It got to the point where I thought that suicide was the only way out; the only way to be happy again. Our relationship was no where near healthy.. We were together until the first week of my senior year, which was also his first week of his freshman year in college. Everyone knows that having a relationship while you’re in college is hard because college is not easy, and people want to have a good time in college. They want to meet new people, go to parties, and not have to be tied up in a relationship. Being a senior in high school, I also wanted to have a good year. This was my last year in high school, and I did not want to spend it ruining relationships. I wanted to build those broken relationships back up with people!
When we broke up, it was mutual. We both decided we needed to have a good year at school, and find out what we were meant to do in our lives without centering them around each other. About a month later, he wanted to get back together, but I had already moved on. It was not intentional for me to move on and find someone who really made me feel whole again, but the greatest things happen when you’re least expecting it.
The man I had met in the man I live with now. We have been together for about a year and we have began to build our lives together. His name is Josh, and he makes me feel whole again. He took my shattered heart and put the pieces back together. He accepts me for who I am, and knows that some days are harder than others. He understands that depression is hard on a person and makes their day to day life a little different than someone else’s.
No matter what your story is with depression, don’t ever think that you’re alone. Depression is not easy to deal with, and no one should have to deal with it alone. And always remember, no ones story is the same. Just because they were diagnosed differently than you and don’t experience the same symptoms, does not mean they are not depressed. BE KIND TO EVERYONE, because everyone we know is fighting a battle we know nothing about.